On a serious note...who actually votes for Mumbles to continue to be the mayor of one of the biggest cities in the country? Like if Boston had any type of emergency who honestly trusts that Menino would help at all? Also I totally think he's fucking up these names on purpose now just to get his 15 minutes. Like what's next Boston, Pauly D 2013?
Back to the AFC Championship game this week against the one team I really didn't want to play. I think I would rather go to Denver against Peyton Manning than have a home game against the Ravens and Ray Lewis. I know the guy can give great pregame speeches, halftime speeches, postgame speeches, courtroom speeches, but he has the NFL totally mesmerized. Aqib Talib has been in a few fights where no one was seriously injured and he's a potential poison to a locker room. Alfonso Dennard punches a cop before the draft and falls to the 7th round. Aaron Hernandez smokes a few blunts and he has "character issues". Fucking Gronk loses the Superbowl, gets blackout and dances on a hurt ankle and people question his work ethic. But Ray Lewis was involved in the brutal stabbing and death of 2 guys and he's glorified as a charismatic and powerful team leader. You got me, NFL.
YOU REALIZE YOU ARE A SPOILED PATRIOTS FAN WHEN....is a new segment I think I can work with. This week, I realize I am a spoiled Patriots fan when...I'm thinking about how disappointed I'll be if we don't win the Superbowl. How many teams would be thrilled to make it to the AFC Championship game at home for a chance to go to the Superbowl. But here in New England, we're going to be heartbroken with anything less than a Superbowl.
The person who I think might be most heartbroken if the Patriots lose is the newest girl who likes sports, my mom. And I might be more heartbroken to not receive texts like I did last weekend from my mom. Here is the Texans game through her eyes. Yes that is a martini glass.
During a pregame interview with JJ Watt:
Wonder which Patriot she would give a Six Pack Sunday?
Not a big fan of JJ Watt would be an understatement.
All the single ladies love Stevan Ridley (her man!!)
You know you're a spoiled Patriots fan when...
If you are the girl who likes sports that basically knows Tom Brady is married to Gisele, Lance Armstrong confessed to Oprah about using steroids and Tim Tebow is a virgin, you may have been hearing about this online dating hoax. Now to some of us, this story is nothing more than an average Monday night at 11pm but believe it or not, to a lot of other people out there, this is a huge deal.
To explain it simply, a good football player was having a great season all while struggling through an inspirational story of his grandmother and then his girlfriend passing away within a one day period. The story goes that this good football player, Manti Te'o (turn on Sportscenter for 20 minutes and you'll hear how it's pronounced), met a beautiful girl online and started sexting and tweeting at each other until they decided to make it official. Then this girl gets in a car accident and finds out she has cancer. They fall asleep on the phone together every night and when she dies, he plays in her honor and is in the running for the best individual award in college football. Then, his team loses in the championship, another guy wins the award and someone finally actually fucking googles this girl. Like seriously, articles were being published in the biggest magazines and reporters we're writing about this story for months and no one bothered to even google the girl. Finally, someone (probably Nev Schulman) looks into it a little and finds out this girl totally doesn't exist. It's exactly like every episode of Catfish where you find yourself screaming at the TV like HELP THESE PEOPLE NEV!! (everyone does that right?)
So now it turns out that one of this guy's friends who coincidentally got in a car accident a few months before, definitely did it and no one is sure if he knew about it or not. So now you know. For more information on this, head here.
There are four teams left in the hunt for Superbowl 47, San Francisco, Atlanta, Baltimore and New England. If you're a fan of any of these teams, it's a very exciting time of year. And if you're not a fan of one of those teams, well, it must suck to suck.
Right Lil' Joe!?!?
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